Every year when October is near, I see a bevy of Domina's advertising Locktober all over social media. The tradition has become a delight for players who enjoy the denial inherent to chastity as well as for their Mistresses who blithely tease their captives, all in good kinky fun. This year I was moved to write My own thoughts on the subject of chastity. I find the practice to be a deeply meditative way to grow and deepen a D/s (Dominant/submissive) dynamic.
First, what is chastity? Physical confinement is a small part of the equation. In fact, one must be in the right headspace to endure chastity, with or without a cage. Physical confinement without context can be frightening, confusing and oddly arousing for some. This, in itself is enough for some to get off. But I am interested in discussing actual long term confinement and not the terror fantasy of being locked up forever (that deserves it's own blog post!). To prepare to be in a state of confinement or celibacy, one must get one's thoughts collected and motivations examined. I believe the right headspace for chastity is rooted in discipline, devotion, and desire for growth.
Physical confinement is not enough to motivate a submissive to forego physical pleasure. Behavior around masturbation frequency must be controlled. The details of that training can be explored in more depth for those curious to try it themselves. With the help of a Mistress to act as key holder, the submissive can work on developing mental discipline in order to meet the physical challenges agreed on by the two.
Along with mental discipline, there is a psychosomatic discipline that can emerge in the chastity bottom when guided properly. Orgasm control and denial can be challenging and exciting without using the physical device of a cage. This can be very helpful for anyone hoping to gain more physical control over their pleasure driven flesh or extend the length of enjoyment from physical stimulus. Psychosomatic self-consciousness becomes the guide to each pleasure ascetic.
With such pointed attention on the submissive's most vulnerable anatomy, the power exchange can be explored more deeply. My chastity training includes daily devotionals that help build discipline and adherence to the program which aid in the long term overall growth of the submissive. Whether a 1 hour lock down or a month long challenge such as Locktober, My submissive can use these opportunities with Me to meditate on their denial. The goal is a conscious effort toward self-discipline and more mindfulness around sexuality.
DESIRE FOR GROWTH
Any duration of chastity is a legitimate duration. With the help of a patient key holder, the process can be a powerful learning experience for the submissive. Using a cage as a restraint device in a bondage scene, for example, can add another level of focus for the captive. The sensations experienced are valuable for both the cage wearer and key holder.
Ultimately, the entire process of chastity is a dance of trust between the captive's mind, their body, and the will of their Dominant. It is an ongoing process of care and mindfulness and unique to each individual. Finally, for Me, the core of this play is joyful exploration within oneself, with one's Dominant, and with our environment. I invite you to explore chastity with Me when you are ready.